We all need to feel as if we have a place to call our own. And to be the best stepmother you can be, it’s crucial to lay claim to a space that can become your sanctuary, whether you’re moving into the home where the kids already live (which most stepfamily experts recommend you don’t do if you can help it) or you’re all moving to a new place together. Continue reading “Do You Have Your Own Sacred Place?”
Dec 09 2011
Do You Have Your Own Sacred Place?
Dec 05 2011
This Land Is My Land! Part (3)
Stories like Debra’s are exactly the type of experience stepmothers can’t talk about with just anybody. Friends or siblings who have children have had time to adjust to what life is like with kids, and they don’t understand why this is so upsetting to a new stepmother who was a complete stranger to these children not long ago. Continue reading “This Land Is My Land! Part (3)”
Dec 01 2011
This Land Is My Land! Part (2)
I wanted to know right away what my role was within our stepfamily. How many rights did I have in my own house? What could I say to the kids when they were misbehaving and their father wasn’t around? How much power did I have? Continue reading “This Land Is My Land! Part (2)”
Nov 27 2011
This Land Is My Land!
Back when I was a sassy single gal in my late twenties living in my cool bachelorette pad, I remember my parents telling me to relish my existence. They knew that one day, when I got married and started a family, I would miss that apartment. I would long for the quiet and the orderliness. I would crave the serene, smooth sailing of my even-keeled emotions. Continue reading “This Land Is My Land!”
Nov 23 2011
Us Against the World
In a culture of self-interest, how do you turn “What’s best for me?” into “What’s best for us?” The challenge of any marriage is to figure out how to work and live in a partnership while maintaining your own purpose. But the only way to achieve a working stepfamily is if both you and your husband work together as a unified team. Continue reading “Us Against the World”
Nov 19 2011
To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone Part (3)
One stepmom I talked to complained that her husband never planned their date nights—that she had to or they wouldn’t happen. She bought the book 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex by Laura Corn. The book contains 101 ideas for private events one partner plans for the other one, and her husband really got into the planning. Continue reading “To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone Part (3)”
Nov 15 2011
To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone Part (2)
Here are some little ways you can make sure you continue to develop your partnership so you feel supported as you create your role as stepmother.
• Explore each other. Think of your husband as a new land you’ve never been to. Find out what makes him tick. Be interested. Be curious. Continue reading “To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone Part (2)”
Nov 11 2011
To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone
So how do you keep your marriage front and center even when you suddenly have children knocking on your door, interrupting private moments? No matter if you have your stepkids full- or part-time, you’re going to need to make sure you and your husband spend time together developing your partnership. In a first marriage, a couple typically has several years to work on becoming a team before a baby comes along to test their bond. Continue reading “To Do List Before You Engage to Your Lovely Someone”
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